The "Blind" Lady

Preface: I do have a picture of the lady I'm about to describe, but I decided against posting it in case she is a friend of any of you. I'd hate to be held libel for defamation of character or something. So just imagine if you will a woman approximately 6 feet tall weighing 400 pounds with a series of very bad blonde wigs.

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I'd like to start by saying that this woman was aboard our cruise and claimed to be completely blind. In the week we spent with her, it became increasingly apparent that this woman was not, in fact, completely blind. There's no way she could have been.

Here, I present the Top 10 Reasons I Know This Woman Was Not Really Completely Blind:

10. She claims the cruiseline broke her "blind stick" when it went through baggage. Don't you think if she were really completely blind, she would've taken it aboard with her from the get-go and not packed it separately to send through baggage check?

9. She wore makeup that -- although tacky -- was perfectly applied.

8. I just wonder why a completely blind woman would go on a cruise by herself. It seems unlikely.

7. She had a video camera and always seemed to know when she could see our boat in the harbor from our position on the bus in Grand Cayman in order to video it. She started taping when it was visible and stopped taping when it wasn't.

6. She gave Marilee and I dirty looks every time we were near her. I think she knew we were onto her scheme.

5. She was watching the movement of the stingrays in the ocean and yelling out to people 15 feet away from her that a male stingray was headed toward them. How did she distinguish the male from female without being able to see? How did she know in the choppy water that a stingray was headed in a zig-zaggy pattern toward people so far away from her?

4. For that matter, why would a completely blind woman choose to go alone on a stingray swim and snorkel excursion?

3. She managed to walk around the photo display area with ease without any assistance, marched right up to a sign, pulled it out of the slatboard holder, and proceeded to ask what it said.

2. She also knew that she was missing a picture -- the one of her posing in a red dress in front of a boat backdrop. Without the aid of sight, I wonder how she knew the picture with the boat and red dress weren't among the ones she'd already miraculously found along the display racks.

1. She could always find the most affluent-looking or attractive people to cling to for help. You see, her ability to function varied depending on the people she was around.

There are plenty other examples, but I think you get the point. I'm just saying...this woman wasn't completely blind. And it really is sad that she would feign such an impairment for attention, unecessary help, etc. I kind of wonder if she was running some kind of theivery scam. If she winds up on America's Most Wanted, I won't be surprised.

Meet My Sister, Marilee

This is Marilee -- my dear friend who was gracious enought to invite me on a cruise with her family. Let me tell you, cruising with her family was quite possibly the most hilarious thing I've done in recent years. I am posting this picture so you have a clear visual of the two of us before I proceed.

I can't tell you how many people on the cruise thought we were sisters. It was better than other things they could've thought, I suppose, considering the large number of "alternative lifestylers" on the ship. At any rate, I could go for friends, even cousins, and maybe half sisters or something. But twins?! There was one particularly drunk woman who thought we were identical twins. She was kind of funny in a rather unfortunate way.

I'll update some more cruise details soon-ish.

Home Sweet Home

Due to popular demand, I am updating my blog! Here is a very exciting picture of my living room. I know you are overjoyed at the sight of this. Don't you think it needs a paint job in a major way? Unfortunately, that won't happen while I'm still in this apartment. Anyway, here is my home...for those of you dying to know what I did with the place after unpacking my boxes.

20!

Alexa "tagged" me to do a post of 20 random things about myself. Since I'm in desperate need of an update, here we are:

1. I love God!

2. I am incredibly blessed with awesome friendships.

3. I think my skin is so pale it's actually translucent.

4. I went off caffeine for a month but now I drink more Diet Coke than ever.

5. My favorite ice is from Sonic. I feel badly for my parents who no longer can enjoy Sonic as the Terre Haute location went out of business.

6. I stopped watching Alias this season. Killing off Vaugn in the first episode and "reassigning" Weiss in the second were just more than I could handle.

7. I haven't written anything on my thesis in at least 6 weeks. But that is going to change soon...I hope.

8. This creepy little scarecrow thing is sitting on my desk and it's kinda freaking me out.

9. It's been almost 4 months since my last haircut.

10. My county is under a weather alert: we might have cooler temperatures due to a cold front. How cool are these temperatures they're warning us about? Highs are only gonna be in the 80s!

11. I love Taco Cabana, but I still crave Taco Bueno from time to time.

12. Chai, aka: "Thanksgiving in a cup," is my favorite hot beverage.

13. I'm only occasionally artistic.

14. I ate blueberry waffles for dinner.

15. I set sail for a week-long cruise with the Kelso family on the 30th!

16. I have actually started keeping my checkbook register again.

17. I haven't ironed an article of clothing in quite some time, but my iron is plugged in (although safely in the "off" position) just in case.

18. I enjoy watching sports more during play-offs than regular season games.

19. I think I have 6 valid email accounts for some strange reason.

20. I will be in Oklahoma for two days in early November!

Now I am supposed to tag 10 people to write their 20 random things. So get to it: April, Adam, Karessa, Lindsy, Sara, Stacey, Dara, Terra, Jinny, and Marilee.

If you didn't make my official list of tagged bloggers, I apologize. Please submit a written request and I will be certain you are tagged for something in the future!

this is only a test...

Do you ever have one of those days where God completely reveals himself to you and you think to yourself, "YES! This is exactly what I needed. God is good!" You might take some time to praise God and reflect on His work in your life. And you feel content in your faith and your relationship with God. All is right. It's a good day. But then the very next day -- BOOM! Satan comes flying at you with so much force that it knocks you back.

That's kind of where I am today. Instead of wallowing in it, though, I am fighting back. I decided to seek some wisdom from my Father. And this is what He provided:

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. -- Isaiah 40:29-31

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. -- Isaiah 41:10

What scripture(s) do you find empowering?

everybody loves a dino

I was just looking at pictures on my camera and thought I'd post this to show you all that April and I are probably the coolest cats around. This is the birthday cake surprise we got for Karessa and Adam. The dinosaurs actually roared. We also got them each a grab bag for their respective genders. They are definitely lucky to have us around....

in a quiet moment...pray...

Gena Press is battling cancer, has been for quite some time. And it seems that her body is growing tired of the fight. She probably won't make it much longer. My heart selfishly hurts as I think about the void her death will create in so many people's lives, including my own. But it rejoices in knowing she will no longer suffer when her spirit is floating on a quaint little cloud on a corner lot in a fantastic neighborhood in Heaven. The angels will sing her Home, I'm sure. She has been a humble example of love, grace, hope, courage, strength, faith, family, acceptance, and more. I couldn't hope to be even half the woman she is, but I'd sure like to try. If you don't know Gena, you've really missed out on the gift of an angel with skin.

stupid is as stupid does

When I was an adorable little girl around the age of 5, I was brilliant! I mean it. I was super smart. I had been reading since I was 3 and I could count as high as anyone had time to listen. I credit my brother with this early development as he is two years older than me and he would teach me his lessons from school each day. (Thanks, Bubba!) I was immediately tagged for the GT / Honors track and began taking advanced classes at school. I have studied French, Spanish, Latin, and German in my short lifetime. Even in college, I entered the Honors Program and did quite well. This is not said to boast or brag. It's said to set the stage.

You see, the problem is my near idiocy today. How can it be that I have lost intelligence over the years? I never did drugs...unless the second-hand marijuana smoke at a DMB concert counts. (Could that be the cause??) So why is it that instead of continuing my "the sky's the limit" intellectual climb, I have regressed to a mental state comparable to that of an 8-year-old?

I don't know for sure, but I feel fairly certain that I haven't been challenged intellectually in quite some time. The only challenging thing about my master's degree has been completing my thesis, something that has far more to do with self-discipline and time management than my intellectual ability. I then began working with women who were, for the most part, uneducated and I found myself trying to relate. And now I work with children. So what's a girl to do?

I might start reading some more intellectual fare (after I wrap up the current installment of Harry Potter, of course) and perhaps I will venture into the realm of news once again. Maybe even politics. I don't know. If you have suggestions for regaining my higher cognitive functioning, by all means...let me know. Challenge me. I dare you! (Oops.....there's that 8-year-old again!)

Season 4!

Christmas comes early as Gilmore Girls Season 4 releases on DVD on September 27th. It was just a few months ago that the third season released. I remember it very vividly as it was right after I moved, and also my dad's birthday -- May 3rd. I initially thought GG3 would be my reward for unpacking. Good thing I caved, bought it anyway, and watched the season within a week. I'm still not unpacked!

Season 4 is full of highs and lows. It's kind of an awkward season as it starts, trying to figure out how to carry on the unique relationship of mother and daughter that is now almost completely relegated to phone calls. Each character faces change in this season. But it ends so dramatically...Luke and Lorelai finally kiss and Lorelai walks into her house to find that her sweet, innocent, naive daughter may not be so sweet, innocent, and naive after all.

Bottom line: I will be eagerly awaiting its release and will say goodbye to my nights of falling asleep to Golden Girls to watch instead this other GG.

As a brief aside: Season 6 premieres on Tuesday, September 13th, at 7:00 p.m. CST on The WB!

stop the insanity!

So on Monday, I had a proverbial bee in my bonnet. I got up at a reasonable time, I got productive, I made tremendous progress in my guest room. If you are one of the unfortunate few who saw it in its state of total chaos and confusion...you'd be proud. During this time, however, my downstairs neighbors seemed to have a problem with my noise. They came and knocked on my door. I wasn't dressed enough to answer but saw them through the peep hole, apologized through the door, and quieted down. But really, it was the afternoon and I think I was every bit entitled to make noise. I was unpacking for goodness' sake!

On Tuesday, I had a literal bee in my literal car. For those of you around a couple years ago when I got stung by a bee (I still blame you, Sara Raney) and the trip to the ER afterward because apparently I'm highly allergic...you can imagine the sheer terror on my face. I very carefully got out of my car and opened a second door (everyone likes choices, maybe bees do too), and prepared myself for a stand down. It was on! Me v. The Bee. It took some time, and I was much later to work than planned, but the bee flew off into the sunrise. Or maybe just across the fence toward the screaming kids at Kinder Care. I resumed my day.

And now it is Thursday morning and you know what? My downstairs neighbors are hammering away. Channeling my best Stephanie Tanner impression, I simply have to say: "HOW RUDE!" And no, I will not be going to knock on their door. Mark's "anger management" sermon series has paid off. (Because you know I'm such an angry, confrontative person and all...ha!)